the only birth control you’ll ever need
that’s my secret
I’m always tired
*transforms into the incredible sloth*
Hedwig Buckbeak Potter, you were named after some hella winged animals hella rad high five son
doctors: why are all your bones broken
me: totally gnarly kick flip
doctors: fucking savage bro
"How are your grades?"
"What are you majoring in?"
"Have you got a girlfriend?"
"What do you want to do when you graduate?"